Your Name (optional)
Your Hometown (optional)
Race Name *
Race Location (optional)
Miles Completed *
Total Race Distance
Race Altitude *
— How high up was this thing? —
Sea level — I was lied to about the vert
2,000–5,000 ft — rolling hills, allegedly
5,000–8,000 ft — where legs start filing complaints
8,000–11,000 ft — "very runnable," said the RD
11,000–13,000 ft — basically mountaineering
13,000 ft+ — this is a running race?
Your Home Altitude *
— Where do you normally breathe? —
Sea level — I breathe normally, like a person
Under 2,000 ft — proud flatlander
2,000–5,000 ft — some hills, maximum overconfidence
5,000–8,000 ft — somewhat adapted, fully deluded
8,000 ft+ — I live at altitude and it still wasn't enough
Race Conditions *
— What were you up against? —
Scorching heat (90°F+)
Torrential rain
Snow and ice
Perfect weather (suspiciously so)
Wildfire smoke
The eternal night section
Wind that had personal opinions
All of the above (naturally)
Primary Excuse Category *
— What really happened —
🦶 My feet hurt
⛏️ Gear catastrophe
🌡️ It was hot
🥶 It was cold
🦵 Body betrayal
🤢 GI apocalypse
👥 Crew & pacer disaster
🥤 Aid station catastrophe
🧠 Existential crisis at mile 30
🗺️ The course was wrong
⛈️ Act of God / Nature
🏋️ I just didn't have the fitness
😇 I was basically fine (wink)
Training Status Going In *
— Be honest. We won't judge. —
🔥 Peak fitness — 80+ mpw
📈 Solid training, maybe overtapered
🤕 Coming back from injury
📅 Life got in the way
🤷 What is training?
🛋️ The couch was very supportive
Pack Position (optional)
— Where do you sit in the pack? —
Elite — I had a sponsor to disappoint
Sub-elite — technically competitive, technically DNF'd
Podium in my age group — which absolutely counts
Mid-pack — and proud of it
Mid-pack — I can't admit I'm back of the pack
DFL — and I have the license plate to prove it
Ultras on Your Belt (optional)
— How seasoned are you? —
This was my first — I had no idea
2–5 — still figuring it out
6–15 — experienced enough to know this was bad
16–30 — I've seen things
31–50 — this isn't my first DNF rodeo
50+ — I should have known better
DNF History (optional)
— How often does this happen? —
Never — this is my first DNF and I am not okay
Rarely — which makes this even worse
Occasionally — part of the process
Regularly — I prefer to call it "race management"
More often than I finish — it's a lifestyle
Do You Have a Coach? (optional)
— Professional guidance? —
Yes — they have some explaining to do
Yes — I did not follow the plan
No — I coach myself, which tracks
I have a coach but I ignore them
Did You Have Crew? (optional)
— Were people waiting for you? —
Yes — they watched it happen
No — I was out there alone
Did You Have a Pacer? (optional)
— Any witnesses? —
Yes — they were there when it all fell apart
Yes — they were waiting but I never made it to the pickup point
No — no one to corroborate my story
Social Media Exposure (optional)
— Who knows you were here? —
No one — this is a silent failure
A few close friends — damage is manageable
I posted it on Strava — the segments don't lie
I told everyone I know — there are witnesses
I live-updated my Instagram stories
I fundraised for this — people donated money
I talked about it on my running podcast — publicly, on record
Are You Going Back? (optional)
— Unfinished business? —
Yes — this race owes me a finish
Probably — once the blisters heal
Maybe — if I get in the lottery again
No — I have learned my lesson
Never — I am done with this distance
I said never but we both know I'm going back
Race Day HRV (optional)
— Did you check? —
Didn't check (blissful ignorance)
Green / High (70+) — my body lied to me
Yellow / Average (40-69) — yellow means go faster, right?
Red / Low (<40) — my Garmin said don't race
My watch was charging
Race Day AQI (optional)
— Air quality? —
Good (0–50)
Moderate (51–100) — fine, technically
Unhealthy for Sensitive Groups (101–150)
Unhealthy (151–200) — the real story begins here
Very Unhealthy (201–300) — why was this race held
Hazardous (301+) — the RD has questions to answer
How Much Was This Your Fault? *
— Be honest. Or don't. —
Entirely my fault — I own every decision
Mostly my fault — but circumstances conspired
Honestly, about 50/50
Mostly not my fault — I was set up to fail
Not my fault whatsoever — I am a victim
The race was specifically out to get me